As a bride or groom in the midst of organising your wedding, you’re probably embarking on one of the biggest and most complicated projects of your journey together so far.  With so many fundamentals and details to tick off your list, there’s no doubt you’re experiencing frustration and fun in large doses!

I always say it takes two to make a marriage but a community to make the wedding, and I mention it here again after reading about a lot of issues and frustrations.  When things sometimes go wrong during your wedding planning, how do you bring the focus back to you both as a couple and the reasons for your wedding?

How are you planning to manage your values, attitude and mood on your big day if you allow outside grievances to colour the true meaning of your marriage ceremony?  One way is to refocus on what is truly important to you as a couple.

If you have grievances and legal battles can they be parked for after the marriage ceremony/wedding?  Yes, of course the perfect invites, dance floor, matching chair covers etc are important to you because you are working so hard on perfection.  Yes, it hurt when you fell out with your first choice of Matron of Honour but you decided it was in your best interests and that’s how you roll.

So now, it’s time to sit down together as a couple and have a conversation again about what really makes you happy in life.  Write it down.  What are you grateful for? Frame it if you’re into cosmic ordering, burn it if you want to give it up to the universe.  Make a dream board together about your ambitions for the future.  I don’t mean the material things like the next car or house, but your intentions for your marriage together.  How will you support each other emotionally?  How will you remember whats important to you both this time next year when you’re having a full blown argument about something someone said on facebook?

Well this may sound obvious, but its true.  Remember to approach things from a loving perspective.  Remember compassion and forgiveness, and think of the teachings of martial arts, in both mental attitude and physical agility.  Non-resistance- like the way a tree bends in the wind and yields to its force.  I’ll finish with a wee quote from Dan Millmans The Way of the Peaceful Warrior:

“Never struggle with anyone or anything.  When you’re pushed, pull; when you’re pulled, push.  Find the natural course and bend with it.  Join with nature’s power.”

Wishing you all a great wedding day and a strong marriage.

Marion McGunnigle